Gertie Contemplates her Buddhist Writing Retreat

Dhanakosa Retreat Centre

Last week I goes on this writing wotsit,
retreat they calls it.
I wondered if it would be a bit
la-di-da, but it wasn’t.

There was these two fellas
with funny names
but they turned up trumps,
made us feel very comfy.

I was gobsmacked at
what come out of my mouth.
You’d call it filth, I dare say,
but they took it all in good part.

People wrote some lovely stuff about
kids playing with stones, red squirrels,
Indian slums, shopping in Lewisham,
and this creepy one about being killed by a lilly.

They did this thing called meditation
where you sit very still for a long time:
sometimes you shift about a bit
but sometimes you feel tingly and calm all over.

In my dorm four of us was sharing.
Two of us roaring snorers
but we had this stuff called
Snoring Stop you had to gargle with.

We did it to the tune of
Come on Baby do the Locomotion.
I laughed so much I could have wet myself
If I hadn’t just been.

We was in this lovely place
called Danny something.
And there was this big lake
what Scottish call a loch.

This loch is huge
with high hills round it
all green they was
with grass and loads of trees

It’s sort of quiet
Like your heart has found its home
You want to never leave it; plunge right in,
though it was bloody freezing when I did.

(Published in "Writing Your Way" by Manjusvara, Windhorse Publications, 2005)